Thursday, August 09, 2007

Aren't you glad you kept her?

So my mother, whom I haven't heard from since my birthday almost two months ago (either by phone or email), calls me the other day. She is visiting my brother and his wife and children because they just had a new baby. So while my sister-in-law was outside with the 14-month old, my mother had inside duty waiting for the 3 week-old to awaken from her nap. So glad she finally fit it into her busy schedule to call me ...

That issue aside, during the course of the conversation she asks about my daughter and comments on how quickly she is growing (she does read my mommy blog so she sees the regular pictures and updates on things she is doing or saying). Then she says in that off-hand way, "Aren't you glad you kept her?" I was shocked. I just kind of said a vague, "Yeah," and there was a brief silence. I don't know if she picked up on it or not as she then either asked an unrelated question or chattered on about some other thing. I can't remember which because I was stunned. And hurt.

As I've processed it, I realize it's one of those things that, for some people, is just a phrase. I've written before about how the phrase really surprises and bothers me, but I thought it was a Southern phrase and my mother is as Yankee as they come, and I certainly never expected to hear it from her.

And of course I was a coward and didn't bring up the adoption. She was in a strange place waiting for someone else's baby to wake up and I just felt like the timing wasn't right. That's me. Full of excuses.


Blogger Barb said...

jesusgod Jayne. kudos to your for not outwardly losing your mind. 'cause i would have.

5:39 PM  

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