Friday, July 20, 2007


I hate change. And when it comes to my daughter, I feel like I have to do it the way my mother did or it isn't right. Why do I have so little confidence in doing something different? For example: baby book vs memory binder.

I know it's perfectionism to feel that I have to always do things the "right" way, and I look to how others have done things because then it must be right.

Even though I have come to realize that there are not nearly as many hard and fast rules in life as I once thought, I still find myself living in a much more limited way on a daily basis than I should.


And I'm scared to death about calling the attorney/adoption agency about not receiving a picture since Dec 2005 or responses to my Christmas 2006 and Birthday 2007 letters, which is par for the course, but no longer acceptable. I told myself (and this blog) that I would call this week and I didn't do it. Why? Besides being a coward, I can't figure out my approach.

What should I say so I don't sound like a sniveling beggar or a demanding bitch? I don't want to be easily dismissed as a pushover:, "Oh, I was just wondering if there was anything I could do about getting a picture as I was promised? Oh, no? Okay, thanks. Sorry to bother you." Or pushed out by being too pushy: "I haven't gotten a picture and the communication in general has been way too sparse and I want to know what you're going to do about it."


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