Monday, June 04, 2007

"got it together"

One comment my doctor made the other day (when I went for my physical) was about how she didn't bring up the adoption with me because I seemed to be "so together". Well, isn't that what we're supposed to do, chin up and move on? I told her I would have appreciated being warned that I may experience some [additional] feelings of grief and loss and/or issues with bonding since, once it was brought up, she clearly understood and acknowledged that it was a loss.

A month or so ago when my therapist sided with the adoptive parents after I asked her opinion of my drafted response to the Christmas Letter, I quickly stepped back into the "so together" role because the therapist clearly was not on my side. I have already spent 16 years thinking of their feelings and needs over mine, so I didn't need that little pep talk from her, thank-you-very-much. So when she suggested to me that I should just wait two more years since he'll be 18, I responded with the expected, "Yeah, I guess you're right," while thinking "well, there's another person who just reinforces my decision not to share my birthmother status with anyone who doesn't already know".


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