Thursday, April 26, 2007

Life Change

I've had the same job for 7+ years. I've held different positions, so it's not been the same exact job, but there's still the continuity, the stability, the known evil of familiarity. I've been trying to find a new job since 2003 but once I make it to the interview stage I am inevitably one of two finalists who gets edged out by someone with just the right extra kind of experience.

My daughter's original daycare provider took a "real job" in January and I had to find new daycare. The situation she is in now allowed me to basically work four full-time days and one partial day from home as opposed to the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-flex schedule I had from the time she was three weeks old. Well, I noticed almost immediately that I hated this new lifestyle. I don't get enough reward out of my job to be away from her that much, to have so much time wrapped up in working or getting to or from work because there's still so much else to get done: grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. The one day a week I get to work from home isn't enough since weather or something else usually prevents any quality time outdoors with her (on a walk, at the park, in the backyard), plus her local grandmother wants to spend time with her so usually I wind up working from home while she is either at her grandmother's or taking her nap.

An opportunity has arisen whereby I can work part-time at a local office. I think I'm going to take it. And I think I am also going to go back to school and pursue my Master's degree. And you know what, I'm excited about it! Sure, it will be less money (I've been saving just in case I decided to be brave enough to do something like this) and I have to figure out something for health insurance, but this decision is about quality of life.

For the past week I really doubted myself because *gasp* what if I'm wrong? Well, dammit, what if I'm right? I'm not winning any awards in cubicle-land and years from now I will regret the memories I missed making because I didn't spend more time with my daughter, showing her how to bake brownies, listening to her delighted giggle as she goes down a slide, etc. I won't, however, find myself saying, gee, I wish I could've worked 8 more hours that week back in June of 2007.

So we'll see if they call with an offer. I'm still not quite ready to get fully excited until they do.


Blogger Mommela said...

Rock on! You can do it!

I'm hearing the Mary Tyler Moore theme in the background...

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl
this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do
some giving

Love is all around, no need to
waste it
You can have a town, why don't you
take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

So you spin around and toss that beret in the air. Go for it!

7:08 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home