Monday, March 05, 2007

Mama Angst

2-1/2 weeks ago my daughter wanted my cup of hot tea, so I drained it and gave it to her. She was having so much fun throwing her head back and trying to drink out of it, but she would lose her balance and stumble. The second or maybe third time of throwing her head back she fell all the way forward on it and started crying. Sure enough her forehead started swelling and she wound up with a bruise across the center in a diagonal - kind of looked like the Nike swoosh actually. The bruise is gone but when she furrows her brow, you can still see an indentation. It kind of reminds me of Reese Witherspoon for some reason and I think it's cute ... but I also feel guilty that it was my fault for giving her the cup. Some folks think it will go away eventually and I'll ask about it later this month at her check-up (if she still has it), but I think the underlying worry and the reason I feel uneasy whenever I think about it is that I am sure it won't be the last thing that happens that will be my fault. I know you can't foresee every danger and I don't want to be a nervous wreck around her - I purposefully have let her toddle and fall on her own as she has learned to walk and she has done so well - until I gave her a mug that she was having so much fun with ... and that I was enjoying watching her have fun with. (Incidentally, she managed to swipe that exact cup off the counter and onto the floor last night as I put her in her high chair for her pre-bedtime snack. It broke into many chunks and small pieces and is sitting in the garbage can. It was a freaky episode - the first of its kind - so her forehead indentation how now outlived the mug that left its mark.)

Soon there will be bikes and horses and all sorts of things. Hopefully she will grow fond of any permanent markings of her childhood. Ugh this parenting thing is tough.


Blogger Tammy said...

Ah Jayne, it is SO tough. We know they can't live in a bubble but boy do I wish, lol!!!

Bug rolled down the stairs (the ENTIRE stairs into the basement) when she was nine months and it was my fault. I was TOO "busy" to put the gate up and she fell. I was horrified and wouldn't tell a soul except DH. It shook me up something awful and I was scared for a long time to let her out of my sight.

And then this past Fall, I was making coffee in a French press, she was standing right there and it splashed on her arm giving her quite a burn. And the worst is she still remembers that "momma hurt me". Yikes... that just hurts my heart.

Golly, I made this all about me but I just wanted to say that you aren't alone. You are a GREAT mother. And hugs to your babe...

2:46 PM  
Blogger Jayne said...

It's actually good to hear other people's stories because they remind me that I'm not alone in dealing with the inevitable accidents and resulting guilt and worry.

9:35 PM  

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