Monday, August 06, 2007

Grad School

I've been putting off the essay portion of my grad school application, knowing full well that they do not review my application until they have everything: completed application, transcripts, letters of recommendation, and essay.

The application was completed in mid-May and I requested transcripts the week after that. I waited until mid-July to ask for letters of recommendation because I despise asking people to do things for me. I set a deadline of 7/31 for myself to complete the one page essay. It passed. I finally did it this afternoon. Did the world end? No. Did the essay suck? No. Why do I put things off? I only hurt myself, duh! I know it's perfectionism and it sucks. I really must work on that.

I called the grad school office to find out if I could email the essay since I don't own a printer (plus it's already so damn late) and asked whether it was too late to be admitted for the Fall. (This is not a very competitive program, did you notice how GRE test results weren't listed above? It's more like, if you're a warm body, please just pay us some money and you're in.) She said I probably was too late. Isn't this what I wanted deep down anyway? An excuse to put off grad school even longer? Ugh.

So then I screwed up my measly courage to check the "application status" on-line. It showed them receiving my essay on 6/15. !!! I wonder what they're using for that requirement. Strange. But they only have one letter of recommendation and they should have at least two by now, if not all three. Since I sent an email to the specific person who is assigned to my application, maybe she will let me know what is going on.

Besides being my own worst enemy, I hate how persuaded I am by other people's negativity - in this case my brother's sibiling rivalry toward my Master's degree pursuit. I really need to remember that I need to watch out for myself and take care of myself. Duh duh duh.


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