Grad School

I've been putting off the essay portion of my grad school application, knowing full well that they do not review my application until they have everything: completed application, transcripts, letters of recommendation, and essay.

The application was completed in mid-May and I requested transcripts the week after that. I waited until mid-July to ask for letters of recommendation because I despise asking people to do things for me. I set a deadline of 7/31 for myself to complete the one page essay. It passed. I finally did it this afternoon. Did the world end? No. Did the essay suck? No. Why do I put things off? I only hurt myself, duh! I know it's perfectionism and it sucks. I really must work on that.

I called the grad school office to find out if I could email the essay since I don't own a printer (plus it's already so damn late) and asked whether it was too late to be admitted for the Fall. (This is not a very competitive program, did you notice how GRE test results weren't listed above? It's more like, if you're a warm body, please just pay us some money and you're in.) She said I probably was too late. Isn't this what I wanted deep down anyway? An excuse to put off grad school even longer? Ugh.

So then I screwed up my measly courage to check the "application status" on-line. It showed them receiving my essay on 6/15. !!! I wonder what they're using for that requirement. Strange. But they only have one letter of recommendation and they should have at least two by now, if not all three. Since I sent an email to the specific person who is assigned to my application, maybe she will let me know what is going on.

Besides being my own worst enemy, I hate how persuaded I am by other people's negativity - in this case my brother's sibiling rivalry toward my Master's degree pursuit. I really need to remember that I need to watch out for myself and take care of myself. Duh duh duh.