Two messages

The thing that is bothering me these days is the two very different messages for two members of the triad.

For adoptees, the implicit message seems to be "you weren't wanted". The last thing I want my son to think is what I am most afraid he might feel, and most likely the source of any issues he may have.

For many birthmothers, the implicit message when pregnant and the reason we relinquish boils down to "you can't keep your baby". This is so very different from "I don't want my baby".

While I so wish I could erase all the pain I feel and any my son feels, decisions were made. I just hope he knows, somehow, how much I loved him and wanted him, and how much I still love him and wish I could know him.