Thursday, August 03, 2006

Is she your first?

When I was pregnant with my daughter people always asked me, "Is this your first?" I did not want in any way to erase the time I was pregnant with my son so, since my husband and I had pretty much decided we would only try this once I would answer, honestly, "She'll be our only." Sure, I got some weird looks and some "Oh, you'll change your mind" comments, and even some mini lectures on the virtues of siblings, but at least I wasn't outright negating my first pregnancy.

Now that she is here and getting all the attention babies get in public, whenever someone asks, "Is she your first?" I say yes. I haven't had a problem saying yes. At first I told myself it was probably because it was just easier and people weren't really asking an in depth question anyway. But yesterday after someone asked I realized why I am so comfortable with saying yes. It's because she's my first parenting experience. And I'm loving it.


Blogger suz said...

I lost a daughter to adoption and am raising two boys. When people asked me that, I would say "yes, he is my first son". Even my son would say "I am your oldest" Or "I am your first" and I would still add the "son" part for comfort and clarity. I have never denied my daughter - even subtly. I just got creatve in my acknowledgement!

Seems like you might be able to do the same with a son/daughter combo.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Maxine said...

With 16 years between my kids... before our reunion, I took it case-by-case. For most casual conversation with people I didn't know (like other parents at the park that I'll probably never see again), I would just say "yes, she's my only child" or something. I just didn't want to get into a big thing with people I didn't know. With friends or potential friends (which I suppose would include other parents at the park, but eh), I would usually say the truth whenever it might come up. These days, I tell everyone if they ask, and sometimes if they don't. It's incredibly freeing to be able to say "oh yes, her brother blah blah blah." It's easier now, too, that it's an actual person I'm referring to and not some fuzzy memory of an infant ...

1:07 PM  

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