Love

I have discovered that I adore being a mother.

Every time I think that, I immediately can't help but wonder how it all would have worked out if I had kept my son. And then I have to make myself remember how different everything was. And everything was different except for the complete feeling of love the moment they put him in the crook of my arm, all bundled up and perfect. I could not believe I had made something so perfect. I could not believe I could love a baby boy so much. He was wonderful and I know I loved him completely. For the four days I had him, I felt fulfilled and happy and in awe, while simultaneously experiencing a very strong undercurrent of sorrow knowing that my time with him would be very short lived.