Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Still Adjusting

My daughter loves writing on her new chalkboard. However, she is still learning the concept of starting far enough to the left to write what she wants. This morning I went in her room and she was trying to write my name, so I wrote it for her a little higher so she could practice writing it below. I came back out to the living room and told my husband she needed help writing my name, so I wrote "Mommy" for her.

It felt so very strange to say 'my name' and 'mommy' in the same sentence.

While I never hesitate to answer to my daughter's calls for "Mommy" or even refer to myself in the third person, as in "let go of Mommy's hair", saying out loud "My name is Mommy," still makes me nervous, like I am an imposter and someone is going to call me on it immediately.

Obviously, I still feel like I don't deserve to be a mommy, and I keep expecting someone to notice.


Blogger Rebekah said...

Why on earth would you NOT deserve to be a mommy. I have not had a chance to read your entire blog and I dont know your story, but if you dont deserve to be a mommy then I do. Take a look at my blog and check out what Im about to do. Maybe we can be there for each other.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

It sounds like you're a wonderful mother. You make my heart happy. of course there's adjusting to do, but anyone who's been through what we've been through deserves to be called mommy by a child that is all yours!

11:02 PM  

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