Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Detachment is Normal ... Thanks

I’ve heard from some birthmoms in the past week or so who have said they had a hard time emotionally with a subsequent pregnancy and first few weeks of their baby’s life. To know that my feelings of detachment during the pregnancy and early days of babyhood were normal for a birthmom who is pregnant with the first child she will be parenting has really helped me. It takes away my _______ for not bonding with my daughter during the pregnancy and early babyhood and it takes away the sense of grieving I’ve had for not having the good memories I thought I’d have of the pregnancy and early days. I’ve really been hard on myself about it, wondering why I couldn’t just relax and make/let myself embrace the pregnancy. I’ve worried that on some level Baby Girl hasn’t felt the love and connection she deserves. But knowing that my experiences with my daughter are actually normal for my situation has helped me to claim the experience as my own, to affirm that it was okay to feel that way, to know that I am not alone because others have also experienced the same reaction, and that it will be okay.

So thank-you to those who have emailed me or left a comment related to this on an earlier post.


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