Facebook

I tried to message someone on a board and Facebook warned me that it might go in their "other" folder. "Other" folder? What's that? I looked at mine and found it. There was a message from Amom from almost two years ago when I accidentally sent a friend request to my (our?) son (and then un-sent it). I thought I had un-sent the request before he saw it. Apparently not. Her message to me was SCATHING. If I had seen it two years ago, I would have known then that all along she has just fed me a line of bullshit about ever getting together or having contact. I don't know what the hell she is telling him about me, and how she is telling him. But for her to say that an almost 20 year-old was "blindsided and hurt by my reaching out through Facebook, of all things", gives me a clue that what she's been telling me all these years is not what she's been telling him. Give me a break already.

So he doesn't want contact. That much it clear. Is he angry about being adopted? He's certainly had a "good" life. Has he been shown my cards and letters over the years? I am beginning to doubt it. Whatever. He will be 22 in June. I didn't send anything at Christmas and now I am glad I didn't. Screw them and their over-privileged lives. I picked his parents for him - he should be grateful for that since they apparently are the ones that have told him his shit doesn't stink. Yes, I'm mad. And shame on me for drinking the kool-aid.

Help me find ...

These Facebook posts where people are trying to find their birthmothers/birth parents make me sad in that my son knows how to get in touch with me and chooses not to do so. Yet, these kids/people do want to know their birth parents. Maybe I made myself too available, but I think I was also sold a "bill of goods" in that his adoptive mother made it sound like contact after the adoption would be possible.  You live, you learn I guess.