Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Birthdays, a study in compare/contrast

One day last Fall it was my daughter's birthday. And it was a happy day. I remember thinking, "Oh, is this what they are supposed to feel like?" I felt so alive. The day was dynamic - not static. There was no time or need for reflection or contemplation. Just fun and joy.

It was so unlike my son's birthdays which are always full of sadness and regret for me.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Birthday ... it's coming

So his 20th birthday is coming. On my 20th birthday, I was 8 days post-placement.

It was awful, and I truly believed by this point I would have reconnected with him. Since he doesn't want/need contact, here I am almost 20 years later with nothing but memories.