Friday, March 28, 2008

Let's do Lunch

Okay, truth be told I am okay with my son's decision to not have contact at this point because at least it's a DEFINITIVE answer dammit, and those are hard to come by in adoption. The only definitive answer to this point was the Yes, I'm giving you my son. and Yes, we're taking him.

Anyway ... I feel like at some point he will want to have contact. But really, what I want is to know more about him, but not necessarily from him at this point. And so I have to wonder if his current rejection of contact couldn't be an opening for me to put forward an invitation to M to meet and talk about him. Since he doesn't want contact, she can't be threatened, right? And what mother doesn't love to talk about her child, show off pictures, etc.? After all, adoptive parents writing letters is as stressful for them as it is for us birthmothers writing our letters because there's no give and take, really. I think they worry that we are judging their parenting of the child we've placed while we worry about asking for too much. They are afraid of showing they are human; we are afraid of being cut off. But in a conversation, a meeting, so much of this could be cleared up, no? That is, if both parties are on the same page (or at least the same chapter or book) and don't have a nasty agenda. Okay, maybe I'm being naive. It wouldn't be the first time, but I'd like to think perhaps M and I could meet at the same place we met 17 years and 3 months ago. A neutral but significant spot.

Ah, a pipe dream I'm sure.


Blogger HeatherRainbow said...

wouldn't it be great if that could happen?


2:56 PM  

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