Tuesday, December 11, 2007

My Brother

My brother.

When he has no one else, he has me and during those times we made wonderful memories (for met at least) of trips together to Europe, me visiting him in a certain southwestern state, and great phone conversations. Yet when he has someone else, he barely bothers with me. It's kind of like when you had "friends" in school, but then you were suddenly second fiddle when someone cooler came along. Being treated as second best, why do I put up with this?

And my brother’s derogatory comments to me, at any age, have simultaneously cut me and imprinted themselves upon me.

My brother thinks I am fat, yet his wife is larger than I am.

My brother practically spits at me when he speaks of my knowledge or intelligence, like it’s a bad thing. He has a learning disability, but he is otherwise a very sharp man. He has self esteem issues, though, stemming (of course) from his childhood in regards to his self worth due to his learning disabilities as well as his being second born to a girl.

I wish there could be love there, but there isn’t.

And my sister treats me similarly, at least in the context of being ignored.

I didn't want my son raised with this family pattern. And I only can wonder at this point how things will go now that my dad is gone.


Blogger KimKim said...

These are the reasons that I gave myself for my daughter being adotped too. Our family is so unhealthy I wanted her to not have to grow up around that.

3:06 PM  

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