Birthmother thoughts

I came across these words recently which were written by two separate women.

This woman so accurately and concisely describes the pain of being a birthmother:
"Your life will never be the same. It will hurt forever, like a wound that NEVER heals. It will feel like part of your body has been amputated. And never quite grows back. You will be angry, sad, confused, all at once, and those feelings will come and go over the years, for say, the rest of your life."

And this woman who is four years past relinquishment describes part of the process and dialogue I think all of us birthmothers go through, not once - but over and over again - for the rest of our lives:
I'm learning that it's okay to live my life and experience joy and love. That the decisions I made do not make me a bad mother or person.

I wish that a day will come when I don't have to realize I've fallen into another rut and have to re-learn that "it's okay to live my life and experience joy and love," and remind myself yet again "that the decisions I made do not make me a bad mother or person."